Remember when we were growing up? We found most of our parents’ reasoning strange. Some were funny. Others were outright annoying. But look at you now, stepping into the same shoes.
We get that it’s not something you planned for. But between juggling adult life, paying school fees, and dealing with the frustration that comes with working in Lagos, the transformation starts to sneak in.
Suddenly, you begin to do all the things you once laughed at your parents for.
Well, in case you’re still in doubt, here are typical signs that show you’re officially becoming a typical Nigerian parent.
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Every Light Left On Suddenly Affects Your Blood Pressure
When you were younger, it never seemed like a big deal if the light bulb was on during the day. Now, the moment your child forgets to switch it off, your voice rises before you even realise it.
You are suddenly aware of how much electricity costs, and every watt feels like money slipping out of your pocket. Once you find yourself policing the switches like a soldier, your Nigerian parent badge has been stamped.
Every Conversation Turns Into a Life Lesson
Your child says something as simple as “I am tired of walking,” and you instantly remember your own childhood struggles. Outcomes of a lecture about trekking long distances to school under the hot sun, with nothing but garri waiting at home.
When the Wi-Fi slows down, you seize the moment to remind them that you grew up without electricity for days at a stretch. Every casual complaint becomes an opportunity for storytelling, teaching, and reminding these children that they are enjoying a luxury they never knew.
Suddenly, Everyone’s Age Becomes Your Business
Once you become a Nigerian parent, you develop a unique ability to measure progress by age. A neighbour’s child graduates from university, and you cannot resist pointing it out to your own child, who is still glued to their phone.
Even the random boy on your street who just started his business becomes a reference point. Suddenly, every “your mate” becomes a motivational example. It may not be fair, but it is a tool Nigerian parents wield with pride and confidence.
Weekend Mornings Mean Loud Cleaning Music
Gone are the days when weekends meant sleeping in. As soon as you enter the Nigerian parent zone, Saturday mornings become synonymous with cleaning marathons. By 7 a.m., the speakers are blasting Ebenezer Obey, Sunny Ade, or Tope Alabi, and the entire household is mobilised.
Children are sweeping corners they never noticed before, and the living room is turned upside down in the name of cleanliness. If your kids complain, you insist it builds discipline. That is when you know you are deep in the tradition.
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You’re Always Threatening To Report To Your Kids’ Father
This one happens so smoothly that you may not even notice it at first. Whenever your child misbehaves, even for the smallest thing, the first sentence that jumps out is a warning that their father will hear about it. Sometimes you mean it, other times you are bluffing, but the phrase has its own power. The house goes quiet instantly, and order is restored.
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